Yes, it’s official. The secret is out: we’re moving back to LA, that tart of a temptress, that flip-your-fortune-on-a-dime of a town. She pulls me back, she always does, even when I solemnly vow to never come back.
I’m experiencing a moment of complete and utter surreality.
When you have a dream, the kind of dream that depends largely on other people’s diligence and willingness to back, the kind that needs a combination of hard work, and blind faith and no small measure of great luck and good timing, and that dream is handed back to you with a simple, “OK – take it, you earned it,” it’s not something you can articulate elegantly. It stops you dead in your tracks. That one moment erases every moment you spent thinking, “I can’t do this any more. I am not this person and I don’t know if I’ll ever break through.” It takes away the pain of a hundred nights looking at a dwindling bank account and wondering if that special thing you thought you had was maybe just a delusion. It washes away the despair of feeling worthless and wondering why no one loves the thing you do as much as you love the thing you do. Continue reading