Commencing Bean Dumpage in 3….2….

Yes, it’s official.  The secret is out:  we’re moving back to LA, that tart of a temptress, that flip-your-fortune-on-a-dime of a town.  She pulls me back, she always does, even when I solemnly vow to never come back.

I’m experiencing a moment of complete and utter surreality.

When you have a dream, the kind of dream that depends largely on other people’s diligence and willingness to back, the kind that needs a combination of hard work,  and blind faith and no small measure of great luck and good timing, and that dream is handed back to you with a simple, “OK – take it, you earned it,” it’s not something you can articulate elegantly.  It stops you dead in your tracks.  That one moment erases every moment you spent thinking, “I can’t do this any more.  I am not this person and I don’t know if I’ll ever break through.”  It takes away the pain of a hundred nights looking at a dwindling bank account and wondering if that special thing you thought you had was maybe just a delusion.  It washes away the despair of feeling worthless and wondering why no one loves the thing you do as much as you love the thing you do. Continue reading


There Shall Be Beans

My beans must remain contained at this juncture, so this post will be intentionally vague.  What I’d like to discuss is not the situation itself that prompted this entry (I will not, in fact, discuss it even if you ask), but the very interesting spiritual dilemma that confronts this particular atheist when I am feeling as I do at this moment.

I will begin by saying I have recently made a difficult decision.  When this decision was made in my head, immediate results were felt in the real world.  One may attribute this to manifestation by subconscious actions.  You could also say that taking a course of action that makes more sense than others (based on a variety of factors) and the subsequent ease of fleshing out your plan is not unscientific at all, but rather rooted in very real bases that you have previously cultivated and built. Continue reading

FTW – Week 2

If you haven’t seen the original post about Fun-Time Writersizing, you may see the rules here.

Week 2

I did not have company in last week’s endeavor, so hopefully one of you will join in the fun this week.  Until then, I’ll continue trying to convince you to play with me using my poorly and hastily written stories as bait.  Is it working?  See below for this week’s words.  Stories are due Sunday!  Enjoy.  🙂

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Week 1 – Short story

Week 1 of Funtime Writersizing is over!  Comment with links to your blog so we can share stories.

See this post if you need context for the exercise.  Last week’s words were:

  1. pistachios
  2. elves
  3. social
  4. ant
  5. idiom
  6. sequence
  7. doubter
  8. achieve
  9. merchandising
  10. wild-eyed

Unfortunately, I failed to use “idiom.”  Not that there wasn’t opportunity, but when the story began to build, all my inclusions of the word felt intrusive and unnatural, so I skipped it.  I used the other nine, in addition to the setting (jungle) and condition (always dark) as listed in the rules from last week, and the goal, which was to keep writing, was accomplished.  I’m not being too much of a stickler about rules, because this needs to be fun and inspire creativity above all.  Hell, if it gets you writing, I frankly don’t care if you use any of the words or conditions at all. Hope some of you have joined me this week.

I’ll post this week’s words tomorrow.  SPOILER – don’t read below the line if you still want to do last week’s words.  Read on for the (largely unedited) short story.  And please don’t judge me for lack of revising and inconsistencies in the heavily accented dialogue.  And I made the “cover” just because I like makin’ pictures, and thought it helped break up the big chunk of text a little. You obviously don’t have to do that.  Thanks for playing!  🙂

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Fun-Time Writersizing

One of the most important things about writing, I’ve been told,  is that you must write every day.  Even just a little.  Even if it’s not part of the novel you’re trying to complete.  Just exercise your writer’s brain.  For me, this seems to be the biggest challenge and, simultaneously, the best thing to keep me going.  Miss one day, and BAM! I’m off the tracks and it’s much harder to fall back into the flow than any diet, work-out, or no smoking exercise I’ve ever cheated.  Continue reading