My beans must remain contained at this juncture, so this post will be intentionally vague. What I’d like to discuss is not the situation itself that prompted this entry (I will not, in fact, discuss it even if you ask), but the very interesting spiritual dilemma that confronts this particular atheist when I am feeling as I do at this moment.
I will begin by saying I have recently made a difficult decision. When this decision was made in my head, immediate results were felt in the real world. One may attribute this to manifestation by subconscious actions. You could also say that taking a course of action that makes more sense than others (based on a variety of factors) and the subsequent ease of fleshing out your plan is not unscientific at all, but rather rooted in very real bases that you have previously cultivated and built.
But there is something quite magical about making a decision and seeing things almost immediately begin to fall into place. Even more perplexing for a godless heathen such as myself are the moments which defy rationality and logic. For instance: I make this decision in my head and do nothing while I ponder it. Amid my furious pondering three people call me from out-of-state with direct affirmations of this decision.
It raises the question: How we are all connected? Why is it that certain friends call me precisely at the moment I am thinking of them and need most to hear their voices? Why, when I make a potentially life-changing decision that I know to be the right path, does support come from all sides without me having to push at all?
I feel like I’ve been spinning my wheels for the past three years trying to accomplish something about which I may have been mistaken from the start. When I decided to change a single — albeit significant — piece of the equation, suddenly help came flooding in, some of it totally unbidden.
I no longer believe in a designer; a god or gods of any type. There is a very large part of me, however, that believes in magic, a Universe full of mysterious gears and cogs that keep me feeling a sense of wonder and awe each and every day. Whether that magic is a result of multiple dimensions, a holographic universe, or some principle of quantum physics that we don’t yet understand, it’s still magic to me.
I guess sometimes you just have to surrender yourself to that in order to really reconnect and access all that wonderful, sparkly, humbling, mind-blowing magic you hold within yourself at any given moment.
So, I raise my butterbeer to all you fellow travelers who dare to live magically every day, and to those who appreciate the unknown workings of this incredible and vast universe in which we live. Say a little lovely something into the stars for me tonight, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll hear you.